Rather than being about making a grand contribution to broad society, a legacy is about forming a timeless connection with those important to us. A gift of life and living.
Your story is your legacy
From the time we are small we are told stories of our family by our relatives. Unfortunately, the details are often lost over time. In our youth, we don't always grasp their importance. Perhaps we don't have the life experience, or the era is so disparate to our own, that we struggle to relate to another's experience. Maybe we are so busy with our own present that we find it difficult to ponder on what is long in the past. Sometimes, the storyteller holds back elements of the story to re-tell at a time in the future that never comes, leaving the story incomplete.
We can't underestimate the importance of family storytelling. It's at the core of many cultures and fundamental to understanding our identity and how we arrived at this place. It may not determine our future, but the past certainly gave us our present. Our parents station in life, the region they brought us to live in, the language they speak all inform how we approach life. And whether we want to continue the legacy or change it we still draw from it, learn from it.
“We all feel stronger if we are part of a tapestry,” says family therapist Stefan Walters. “One thread alone is weak, but, woven into something larger, surrounded by other threads, it is more difficult to unravel.”
A legacy is defined as a gift, an inheritance, something that is left behind to others. Rather than being about making a grand contribution to broad society, a legacy is also about forming a timeless connection with those important to us. A gift of life and living. Your grandmother deserves to be remembered as more than a name and date on a flow chart. Not only did she have dreams, challenges and triumphs, it was her experiences that foreshadowed yours. Her story is her legacy.
Saving & Sharing Memories in the Digital Age - Make the Effort
There are a lot of upshots living in the digital age, where communication is instant and continuous. And while we are told our content is left forever on the web, the reality is our stories generally aren't contained fully or succinctly where they can be easily found by our descendants when they come looking for them.
We no longer write letters or print photographs. We don't preserve our memories in keepsake boxes where future generations will discover them. Unless we are one of the more prominent citizens in our society, our day to day lives won't be recorded in local newspapers. Even if we do leave some tangible evidence of us behind, without the threads that connect, we won't have created a full, meaningful story.
How many of us wished they knew someone better before they passed? How many missed getting to know a family member because their story was lost with them?
It's up to us to take the effort to collect those important thoughts and occasions, join them and store them for our loved ones to find when they need them, and in a form that captures the sprit and essence of us.
One way we do this is through our memoirs. Memoirs bring facts, dates, and pictures alive by capturing the spirit and essence of our personal story. Often people choose to do this through writing. Video biographies are another great way to capture the story of you in an entertaining and personal way that's easily shared. The face-to-face storytelling of video establishes a connection that many people struggle to develop in the written word.
"Carve your name into hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you." Shannon Alder
Simple But Significant
It's not an easy challenge to craft a legacy story. The sheer volume of a lifetime of memories can be overwhelming. Facts can be dull and dry and we can get so caught up on those details that we forget to tell the stories behind them. But it is these stories, not so much the dates and specifics that is where our legacy is going to be preserved. It can be good to work with someone who can draw out the memories and put them in the words and format that reflect your character and the memories you want to leave.
Many people feel that developing their legacy is too close to confronting their own mortality. And while it may be about what you leave behind, practitioners who work on legacy projects say that a legacy should not be based on death and dying but instead be about life and living. "It is not about making amends or dealing with unresolved issues" says Wendy Griffith, a clinical social worker with the MD Anderson Centre. "It's about making connections and sharing precious moments with the people in your life".
In fact, memoirs are often written and shared during lifetimes. This is a wonderful way to celebrate fond memories, open discussions and grow bonds while you are still together. But legacy stories also remain long after, uniting those who lived the events with those who hear of them.
A memoir or legacy story doesn't have to take the form of a chronological life history of a person. It can be a simpler assortment of random special moments from a much shorter period of your life; it could be a collection of keepsakes, images or recordings. It may be the retelling of the family history or the writing down of favoured recipes, thoughts or poems. Anything of significance to you, not necessarily world changing, but whatever tells the story of you.
And it is all about the story. We don't have to be extraordinary to have a great life story to tell. Our loved ones cherish us and want to get to know and remember us long after we're gone.
You have a story to tell. Your hopes and dreams, your happiness and your tragedies all make the story of you. Maybe you have advice to pass on, want to pass on a message of love, or just leave a sense of your identity. It's not really about your "success" or "achievements", it's about connection. Creating a rich, lasting bond between you and your family.
"Your story is the greatest legacy you can leave to your friends. It's the longest lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs." Steve Saint.
FM: At ForeverMore we are passionate about telling the stories that matter: yours. Contact us to find out more about leaving a legacy through creating a memoir in film or writing. We would love to help you tell your unique story.